Famous Last Words.

I don't know how to start this, it's a first. Well... I want to die.

I just don't have the courage to do it. I want something certain.  Because I want to be gone in the first try.

I can't stand myself anymore and I just keep hurting people I care about, so.

I'm nothing.

I'm pathetic.

I don't have a future.

And I'm not a beautiful human being.

I'm worthless.

I just...want to go.

So if you're reading this and can help me to go, please do it.

Do it for me.

I beg you.

I have nothing to lose.

Absolutely nothing here anymore.

So do me this favor.

Please.

Thanks.

Lyrics that speak | Little Hell - City & Colour

What if I can't be all that you need me to be
We've got a good thing going, we have some promises to keep
But my addiction it can be such a detriment
Please believe in this my dear, I am more than penitent

What if everything's just the way that it will be
Could it be that I am meant to cause you all this grief
My war ships are lying off the coast of your delicate heart
And my aim is steady and true as it's been right from the start

There's a degree of difficulty in dealing with me
From my haunted past comes a daunting task of living through memories.
If we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall, stare into the past and forget it all

So when we leave it'll be a quick midnight escape
We'll disconnect ourselves from all of yesterday
I'll dig for water and fashion our very own wishing well
Then we'll throw our coins down hoping to rid of us of this little hell

There's a degree of difficulty in dealing with me
From my haunted past comes a daunting task of living through memories.
If we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall, stare into the past and forget it all

Will we get out of this little hell
Will we get out of this little hell
Will we get out of this little hell
Will we get out of this little hell

Let Go - Ingrid Michaelson

Hey I'll move out of the way for you
Hey I'll move out of the way for her too
I never thought we'd end up here in seperate cages.
It doesn't go like this
You left out some pages

Hey when was the last time you laughed
and did you mean it when you did?
I'm just wonderin'
The sound in your voice its abounding
Its astounding how you live so close to your cure

I never know what to do with my love
I never know what to do with my hands
So I put them behind my back
I put them behind my back
Behind my back

Hey don't you know what I need when I say 
Hey see it in my face, I'm breaking
I've waited for so long 
Just to know
That you'd wrap yourself around me if you couldn't let go

I never know what to do with my love
I never know what to do with my hands
So I put them behind my back (put them behind my back)
I put them behind my back (behind my back)
Behind my back (put them behind my back)

Can I move out of the way tomorrow?
Can I move into the way tonight?


-------


Uma daquelas situações onde uma música fala melhor do que mil palavras.

Mémoire

I remember you.
I remember the warmth of your skin and I remember those gazing eyes.
I remember telling myself that I could become completely lost but I'd still find my way back if I looked for them.
They'd guide me.
I remember how my laughter sounded when you're the one causing it.
I remember us being enough.
I remember silly plans. Serious ones.
New York.
I remember letting you in all my dark rooms.
Letting you find my weaknesses and my fears.
I remember you becoming part of me.
I remember not being able to go through without the sound of your voice.
I remember my heavy heart feeling lighter when you'd hold it.
Always so careful.
I remember your touch. The burn it caused in my skin.
The shiver in my spine.
How I knew you're the one.
I remember whispered conversations. Silent ones.
I remember your breathing.
Sometimes the snoring.
I never minded it.
I remember sweaty bodies, painting, and gasping.
Scratch marks.
I remember finding myself when I found you.
How everything felt right even when it wasn't.
I remember losing myself when I lost you.
I remember my heart shrieking.
I remember time flying.
Still hope it does.
Specially now.
I remember you.
And I
I miss you.

Fade

I sit on the edge of the bed, looking down at my hands. They're full of regrets and emptiness.
I'm feel like a fool for being such a coward.
Breathing in.. letting it out.
Painfully.
I realize now that everything I've been doing, all the sips, the smokes and carelessness...All have been a mask for the real reason, the real motive that pushes this self destructive behavior.
I want an easy way out.
Because I can't take the fast one.
Every blow of nicotine is a blow on the hopes for cancer.
Every turn of the glass filled with alcoholic poison is a turn for falling into endless sleep.
Self destructing because I am coward.
This shouldn't happen. Not to me.
I've got a perfect situation.
Great job, private college, comfy bed, supportive family.
But I'm garbage.
I detest every aspect of this body and of this mind that makes me.
I'm lonely.
I shouldn't feel bad for that. I'm used to it. But now it's unbearable.
I rather be alone for good.
So I'm crawling and pretending.
I'm changing my hair and drawing permanent marks on my skin.
I'm making wholes in my body.
I'm feeding on literature. Or so I think.
I'm trying to make someone notice I'm trying.
But when the moon light finds its way into the bedroom and the breeze blows colder,
I feel the water on my cheeks freeze.
And I start to pray.
For the universe.
There's no God.
I pray, I beg to not wake up. I beg to just stay asleep.
But the sun betrays me and shines through the curtains.
If I can feel it, I can see it.

I just want to disappear.